Seen at Burger King: a hamburger with 4 patties of meat. Plus 4 slices of cheese. And bacon.

Why does anybody need a hamburger that big?

Also have been pondering something else I have noticed lately. Here in Ft. Snuffleupagus on the main drag we have a Golden Corral and a Shoney's right next to each other. The Golden Corral is always -- always -- covered up in people. Jam-packed. So much so that even ex-pizza-driver me is afraid to try to drive into it. Right next door, Shoney's is never that busy except on rare occassions as in the Sunday and Wednesday church crowds. Everytime I pass by there Shoney's might have 4 cars in their lot at the most.

On the rare occassions I actually make it into Golden Corral, I get the uncomfortable squicking sensation of walking into a feeding shed for pigs. Which, along with the crowding, is why I don't got there except once in a blue moon. I'm fat myself, yeah, but honestly -- it's like walking into a herd of pigs at the troughs.

I don't like saying that, but that's what I feel. That may be one of the subtler benefits of growing up with a mother who read Gourmet and Bon Appetit magazines throughout my childhood and fed me stuff like pork tenderloins with Dijon mustard sauce and Fettucine Carbonara. I actually learned to pay attention to what I was eating and learned to respect quality over quantity. I may not have eaten everything my mother tried to make but I grew up knowing that mashed potatoes taste far better when made with real potatoes and butter instead of stuff that came out of a box.

It may also be the result of getting older and not as able anymore (nor seeing the sense in) to eat the amounts I used to eat. A few days ago I went to Krystals and got 6 Krystals and a small bowl of chili, but I couldn't eat the last 2 Krystals. I'n not kidding. I can no longer eat a half-dozen Krystals and a bowl of chili. I can remember eating a dozen without breaking a sweat.

Why do we need four-pattie hamburgers and 64 ounce drinks? Why do we need two pounds of french fries to go with them? Is this how we handle prosperity? With this kind of obscene greed?

Gad. I must be getting old.