Had a weird dream last night. I dreamed I was trapped in a button-down shirt with one arm trapped against me and the other free. I couldn't get out. It was like being half tied up in a straightjacket. So either it was an anxiety dream about today's impending Family Gathering (wherein I am required to wear nice clothes and I am not entirely confident about the outfit I'll be wearing), or I was rolled up too tight in my blankets and my brain ran with it.

I have a weird brain.


Current Anxiety-Causing Stressors In My Life --

• Today's Family Gathering, where aside from the Anxieties of having to wear nice clothes I will be required to do so in proximity to my mother who will undoubtedly tell me I look horrible.
• The distribution contract with BCH, which I will have to resolve via either an e-mail containing several questions or a long phone call on Wednesday, concerning logistics with regards to MO and exactly how they're going to handle warehousing of books, etc., since it's via Publishing on Demand and one would think they wouldn't need to keep a lot of them on hand.
• Having broken off ties with the Scout Who Walks in Concrete Moccassins and my former friend in Atlanta, which pretty much means I have no long-time close friends left except for Charlene, and I never see her unless I go out to Northgate and see her at her place of beeswax, and that's not an environment or situation conducive to long rambling discussions of writing, fandom, cats, food, Stupid Men Tricks or other conversational topics.
• Contemplation of breaking off ties with my family, namely my mother, and finally admitting to myself that no matter what I do we will never get along, and since I don't go in for big hysterical angry shouting matches the best thing to do is simply disappear.
• Needing to write and not having the time.
• Overtime at work.
• Having been forced to quit school.
• Writer's block.
• Spring stormy weather and the creeping realization that getting a new roof on the house might be a good idea.
• Thoughts that I may come home some night to find either of my cats dead.
• LibertyCon, and the possibility I won't make any money at all there, prompting thoughts that I may have to cut out my profit margin (such as it is) to make MO a bit more likely to sell.
• A boring, mind-numbing job at which I've wasted almost 12 years of my life, wherein I sit at one place for ten hours a day learning nothing, creating nothing, and knowing that this is likely as good as I'll get here in Chattanooga, and therefore I'm trapped in it.
• No future.

Well. So much for depressing litanies.