This . . . I did not need.

AARP junk mail that begins "Now that you're eligible to join AARP..."

I'm not kidding. I actually got such a bit of junk mail today.

I'm 2 1/2 months away from my 36th birthday.

And yes, it actually had my name on the envelope.

I give up.


In somewhat less amusing news, apparently the CGaW has a girlfriend. So that makes him off-limits.

So now what do I do?

There's something there. I don't know what it is, I don't particularly want it, I certainly don't need it, but there's something mental there when I'm around him. I'm assuming it's a delusion on my part and so I don't react to it and try my best to ignore it. In my experience "psychic connections" are a bunch of self-delusive hooey. I've driven off that bridge once or twice already and I'm well armed against it now. There is no logical reason why I should be so strongly attracted to a boy 12 years younger than I am that I know next to nothing about. Even the illogical reasons I'm well aware are based on physical resemblance and conditioned responses, and as they are understood I no longer fall prey to them. Once you've named the demon it no longer troubles you. Yet I have on occassion picked things out of thin air with regards to people and watched their mouths drop open in shock, I did play ESP games as a child and shocked the hell out of my best friend at the time when I was getting 60%, I did have one undeniable, unexplainable telepathic contact with that friend, and I do sometimes feel auras around people. None of it is consistent but at least with the auras when I get them I do take it into account when dealing with new people. There is something there with the CGaW. Why am I reacting this strongly? I don't get it. He's just another kid. I'm not like this anymore. But here I am.