I had a suspicion for a long time that I wouldn't live past 40. In the last few years I've stopped believing it, but now... I dunno. With my blood pressure I'm really just a tiny blood clot away from a stroke. Without my meds, it could happen at any moment.

Of course we could all die any moment. Asteroid impact, nearby gamma ray burst, massive coronal mass ejection, Yellowstone supervolcano eruption, the San Andreas fault giving way and dropping California into the ocean, fatal viral plague. Knowing the most statistically likely means of your own death is strangely steadying. Okay. This is how the world ends. No wondering anymore. Someday half my body will suddenly go numb, I'll fall down, it'll all fade to black and I won't wake up. Of if I do I won't be myself anymore and it won't be for long. Okay. That's how it will be. That's the ending point. Now I just have to get from here to there.

No word yet on the unemployment decision.